We All Change: Letting Go is Sacrifice

In my book Once Upon A Place, it's all about personal growth and transformation and especially those fun and mesmerizing symbols of stories, myths, and tales.

Personal growth often describes how real people experience maturity. For characters in novels and screenplays, we'll call it transformation because it follows a character arc that sweeps the reader along with purpose-driven imagery and symbolism.

In stories such as fairy tales and cultural myths, transformation can be shrouded (or it can be obvious). It's heralded by symbolism and imagery, often mystical and fantastic imagery of wolves or snakes or apples or blood. In stories, young men raise their swords and young women eat pomegranate seeds. These are metaphors for growth and change.

One of the most important metaphors is sacrifice. Letting go. Understanding that in order to grow, we must let go of something that is holding us back at Stage A so that we can flourish and reach Stage B.

In stories, the metaphor of sacrifice can be very literal and sometimes even gruesome. Consider the abundance of sacrifices made in Homer's The Odyssey, of boar and cows and bulls and sheep. These were blatant sacrificial experiences.

Sacrifices can also be mundane: for example, letting go of childhood and growing into an adult.

Here, we shed some light on this metaphor of the world's stories: sacrificial letting go.

The Idea of Sacrifice in Life and Literature

I call these images “dualities,” as there is something opposite and yet complete within each set of symbols: for instance, Chaos and the Void, Descent and Resurrection, and the Beast and the Guide. These are all dualities or "opposite sides of the same coin."

Sacrifice is one of these bigger-than-life metaphors that can help us understand where we're at in life. The idea of sacrifice is that to grow stronger and leave the old you behind, you must let go of something that was otherwise important, special, or sacred to you. 

For instance, children grow into adults. It may seem like a natural part of life, but emotionally and socially, it's a big sacrifice. They must let go their childish natures, go through puberty, and become responsible adults. But puberty isn't the only time we have to sacrifice something in order to grow. When adults face a challenge in their families or in their work, they must sacrifice their ego, or their fear, or some idea of themselves as inadequate or “not enough.” (Or they must sacrifice the idea that they already have it all.)

Letting these falsehoods go (and giving them to the beast in the story, who happily eats them) is part of the rite-of-passage of both childhood and adulthood.

Letting Go for Something Better

In some households, people try to follow a silly but notable rule: when going to the store to buy something (a treat such as a toy or a book or clothing), they must donate something. It is a this-for-that mentality to reduce clutter. Philosophically it’s an ancient idea of letting go of something to get something (hopefully even better) in return.

This is the idea of sacrifice, and in the world tales I feature in my book Once Upon A Place, the presiding notion is that we let go of something that is NOT serving us, that is holding us back or that is keeping us timid or small. Fear is often something we need to let go; sacrificing our hold on fear can be difficult. Fearing things can become an identity. But letting go (sacrificing) will make us stronger. This is the essence of growth and positive change. 

When we let go of that which is a barrier, we open doors and can finally become stronger, more mature, and more of our best selves. For writers, this means developing a character journey that demands a lot from a character... they cannot grow if they do not make sacrifices that challenge them.

Holly Bellebuono teaches Mythic Settings and Sense of Place for fiction writers, and leads writing retreats.

Her landmark book Once Upon A Place: Forests, Caverns and Other Place of Transformation in Myths, Fairy Tales and Film is the first to identify mythic landscapes used in fantasy writing and is available from your favorite bookstores and also as an audiobook. Click here for Holly's Speaker Sheet.